except from 'Soul Watching' chapter

      soul music 70's then to Christmas It is stormy today; the wind blows and the rain comes in heaves, and every time he pushes him closer to heaven the wind blows heralding the way, for the 4th Guardian. It was a thing to give a patch in ethernet, but that seemed to be Gods plan from, well I don't know Gods plan. I just  follow miracles around until I get where I am going. It is Christmas time and I sing a lot, pushing away the scenes of dread for the higher truth. Frosty the snow man played while I was taking Beshima to a friends and I dressed him in the same clothes' he was in for his wedding. I always dress everybody and today Ivan was Frosty the snowman and I dropped him off in heavan. Nancy was waiting and just watched him dance up until he too the hat off and the snow melted into a sparkly mist and there he stood, magic top hat in hand in his wedding tuxedo. Nancy was the kind of surprised you don't see much, full of love, waiting for him. I gave him joy doing that, and it helped him deal daily with the fact of his reality. I was dropping off Beshima and there was the object I couldn't figure the way to run for in a quick right I was sliding the corner and rolling into a parking lot full of Christmas trees. I got out and just grabbed one. Ivan is ecstatic now that we have a tree and couldn't wait to smell it. I lifted it and gave him a deep pull of the fresh needles into my lungs. I got an "Ahhh, fresh Christmas tree.." in return.

 I went home and got it inside with no breaks. It was sappy and on my hands and this time it was kind of cool. My steering wheel will be sticky for a bit. Ivan was saying, Flash back' over and over or idiot was breaking in. I stopped and wrote it down. I started thinking about all the time we spent together building this with chaos all around at times. We always got it done. "Cut that and then, but I often would be a few thoughts behind him. The shower for Beshima was a fiasco and, well he said one of those last things Marvin makes him say as he pushes him deeper, like well  you, death. He yelled, "I love Beshima! Yeah, I know. I'm a married man and chuckled." Every time he is pushed there he yelled something new and awesome. I learn so much from him. We are a kind of steadfast friend now sharing a 5 years span that it really tells you about how that love can turn an enemy into a friend, or even more a brother. We just hung out sometimes, like watching Lethal Weapon, Step brothers or morning cartoons. We spent a lot of time together. He forgets a lot of stuff overnight while I sleep. Marvin works on him all night, the horror always real to me. I did cry a few days ago and cleared myself of the love of souls and my only mourning; I took while still in the battle field. I have to let him go and I do, but it is never like that. I just flood him with images from his life which I knew from years ago, or I shared my life again in a huge flash of love with pictures of mine in my head or even better full memories. . He would spark right up. "I remember." I would do that in the dark times for him. I mean how dark can it get when your wife was just killed the same way your are being killed, the horror of the threat alive everyday for 28 days, more. Soul watching is not for the weak of spirit. Have people and God there is my suggestion. He gets really happy over the little things. He realized I ate my whole bowl of Cherry Garcia ice cream for him last night and spouted it out in the truck while driving. Driving, I can still take him on bike rides in my mind, went Easy Rider in the time it took to write this sentence. We always roll in full colors with the girls with us. We are all patched now, Guardians. The tree is here. Ivan like a kids has called it Beshima's tree all the way here. I'm kind of excited to it is my first Christmas tree in my home, our home. I bought it for her because she is leaving back to Persia and I want her to remember a good ol American Christmas. I got Green day playing, "I hope in the end you feel is it is just right, I hope you had the time of your life." The caged bird began to sing, he finally sang! Jingle bell Rock

70'S SOUL - The Temptations, Marvin Gaye, Commodores, James Brown, Parli...

The morning of the birth of the final solution, Peace Up IX Reconciliation. 

Let the whole world rejoice at it's coming. 

"A new day is dawning!" 

#THOR 

John Brown's Hidden Cave

 I shambled forward fighting through the thick fog to keep my eyes open and things straight and open the door. A Eugene police officer stood on my porch and the EMS paramedic was at the bottom of the stairs standing in the grass.

"Something is wrong with me. I'm passing out and I can't stop." I stated. "I need to go in; I need help." The paramedics took my vitals and looked at the police officer oh, I saw an almost imperceptible shaking his head from the officer. I couldn't say anything about the overdose which I knew what was happening on some form of narcotic. I know the mentality of the police and they would have taken me to the Johnson unit and charged me with attempted suicide. The fact that I have been beaten almost to death by the Springfield Police Department January 23rd my son's birthday of 2016 left it so the police did not want to help me in any way or form and actually preferred to have me dead. The attack was actually rather perfect, for the police and the EMS paramedic left me there on my stoop and I knew better than to plead. I went inside my home, my very first house, to die. An hour later I found myself upstairs vomiting violently attempting to fight off the overdose of heroin. I figured out that they must have put it in my coffee before I had taken my coffee outside when I smoked a cigarette and left it outside on my porch and came back an hour later to get it. They were watching everything I did from just a few hundred feet away so when the opportunity came to poison me they jumped on it.

I remember at first when I started hearing Ivan and Nancy's voice. At first I thought somehow someone had hacked into my phone and I was hearing voices coming through my phone, but the truth would be ever more disturbing. The truth, in a supernatural event it's sort of like a Deja Vu or a Daydream that you don't remember once it's gone but once you have another one you remember what the last one was about. That is kind of what happened to me, while I lay in bed I became so weak that I couldn't even talk anymore and told Ivan and Nikki that I was going to teach them how to Mind speak. I had run across people with telepathic abilities several times in my life Sherry from the apartments on Monroe 2001 Doug my good buddy a Vietnam Vectren who live down in Florence who had the most predominant ability of telepathy that I had ever seen before. He was a massive receiver. I was staying at Doug's house on his couch and I had visited him many times and observed him mumbling quietly to himself and conversation while smoking cigarettes and lay in bed . That night I was very stressed between lady that I had and the general Madness of a town that did not want to have a black man take one of their white women who was basically the community's whore off the street. As I thought about the Situation's Doug in the same room with me allowed his mumblings and voices to become loud enough for me to hear. As each and every thought came into my mind two voices one his and one kind of like an alter ego inside of him began talking about what I was thinking about. I laid there amazed after an hour and realize that this man was receiving my thoughts and was having conversation about them. Some are called receivers or senders or some can actually look through other people's eyes, but in Lay terms it's called mind speak. The next day I would have a very powerful and short truthful conversation with Doug the Vietnam vet. Doug you're not mentally ill you have a gift. They laddered you you while you were in Vietnam picking up on the term from the movie Jacob's Ladder and change your brain chemistry brother. You are a telepath and a receiver and you are not ill. Doug looks at me and could tell that every word I was saying was from my heart and the deepest truth that I could share with him as a brother. Something happened in those minutes and seconds when you see someone's Soul rise out of the darkness in myr and begin living again it is a thing to see and that is what happened with Doug. I couldn't believe that it was 30 years later 2003 Florence Oregon and no one had told this man the truth or even tried to help him. That is what I do. I'm the one in the dark that bumps back. The Lord Has Told unto me to bring light and love and truth to the darkest places.

As I write this in real time I am in the second event. Sept 13th 2021 and the voices speaking now want me dead like you would not believe for I am exposing a lie that is ruled and taking people's lives apart for so long. The natives had chosen years ago to select people to teach this skill to and it was never to be used for evil as it is now. The first man who showed me that there was control in the situation was a Hells Angel from Arizona that I was locked up with in 2004 a very good brother. I found him in a sort of trance and his lips were moving and I knew he was talking to someone. I stopped and sat next to him and remarked on this very action as I saw it. He was a big man, lean with huge shoulders, about 6' 3" with blue eyes and blond silver hair and not from here at all. We were at the smoke area at CCC Lane adult corrections Center. I was waiting for my ride out to the forest Work Camp and he was just waiting to go home to Arizona. Makes me wonder right now if he's part of the Cave Creek clubhouse where the Dead In 5 Heartbeats movie by Sonny Barger originated from.

" I was talking to my wife as she walks away; she was here for visiting a little while ago."

" I could tell that you were in communication with someone." I replied.

He looked deep into my eyes, That is the third time you have given me chills Thor." " Who are you?"

I smiled back. " I am here to change everything." I replied.

He leaned back and entered his communication trance and I heard "John." Audibly in my ear. I jumped.

I looked at him in shock. "That was your voice." I blurted out.

As I laid in bed I was verbally talking but as I said my energy had wane so far that I couldn't even move my mouth anymore to speak and such I began speaking without saying anything and that is called mind speak. It is not just general thoughts, but is like having conversation just like a person was right there. Most thoughts are not consolidated into words, this is part of the truth of how it is done, and also the trap that can make a event last longer.

This is the story I told them." I want to tell you about John Brown's cave and cache of weapons and other items that John Brown the abolitionist had hidden in Harpers Ferry and how I found the secret cave in 1986 during the summer in August when it had been so dry that a hidden chamber on an upper route through John Brown's cave. It was deep in the cave I found a small upside down V of granite forming a small opening just large enough for a human to go through and a puddle of water at the end of a very long tunnel pushed through the mud creating an opening. This was a mud cave not a granite cave and it was created by the water flow that moved under the town twisting and turning driving the mud out directly under the cemetery on top of the hill overlooking Harpers Ferry. The cave system at its lowest point held a small underground stream that still flowed. If you stand at the train bridge where the Ohio River and Shenandoah met. Look to your right up to Shenandoah you can follow the train tracks until it comes to a bluff made of old southern red tan mud and behind a couple of boards lay the opening to John Brown's cave. As a young boy I had always loved the stories of John Brown the abolitionist and if one were to read the words of Henry David Thoreau in his essay "Plea for John Brown." You also may find the Great and Powerful stature of a man who is sent he felt to do the right thing by God's hand and free the slaves of the Southern States. As I was saying I found this very small Channel and back upper left quadrant of John Brown's cave that dove down to a very low level and had a small pool of water. I was with an Outward Bound group and we were all using the gas headlamps so I couldn't go through the water without extinguishing my light. I called what I had found back up the line and one of the professional spelunkers with a flashlight head light came down and quickly do through the V and I watched his feet disappear and I followed him next and soon all the other students and staff of The Rock would follow us into this small opening. On the other side of the opening it quickly turned into a tall Channel with mud on either side in the further we got in the deeper the mud was on each side two to three feet thick in a V formation with us at the bottom and about 4 or 5 ft high. You could tell that the water had finally punched through after God knows how many years maybe over 100 and revealed the cavern that we were now walking into. The professional spelunkers were beside themselves in the fact that I had found a cavern that nobody had mapped ever. They tried to shine their flashlights to the ceiling but could not see it only for the granite seem to press together in the top and still the light only touched the tip of them as their tops for lost in the darkness and Gloom of the cavern. I began jumping up and down yelling "Do you know where we are?" Not able to control my excitement. It seems I was the only one of the group who knew the legend of John Brown's cave in the fact that they had never found it and it was a cash full of weapons and money. I knew if we pressed it up into the main part of the cave at one end of the other if one were to dig down you would find guns and silver and gold and other things from over a hundred years ago when John Brown took his secret cave to his grave as they hung him by the neck in front of the fire station not a quarter of a mile from where we were Underground.

"This is John Brown's hidden cave!" The awe of the moment and where we were the evidence of the mud that was feet stick like nowhere else in the cave as if this place had been sealed like a great tomb by the floods in muds and in that all also came fear and the professional spelunkers in the staff turned the class around and we left.

That is the story that I told Ivan and Nancy as I begin a mind speak that would turn into one of the most terrifying ordeals of my life for it would last from November of 2016 until somewhere during the summer of 2017. My doctor Julie and her assistant Josie who are steadfast during this time. And would not just push me off into Mental Illness but listen to my words in my truth and they are the ones who have notes on the event as it continued. Writings from. The Eye of Thor.

I am telling you this now because I am in the second event brought on by the fact that these doors have been opened in my mind since I was poisoned with Heroin. Right now it is being used in an evil way and I have been under attack physically and psychologically and spiritually by these people but now they have no strength over me for I walk with God Sai Baba is my teacher and you will not know until you see the Lord to Shirdi where you shall now be and I'm speaking to those were listening cuz they have to.

#TheEyeofTHOR

Grave Yard memoirs Theater

 There is no more Hollow feeling then being in a theater full of people laughing and living on cue and you can't feel enough human emotion to even smile. The dark just seem to roll in at those times, dark and soupy like living a night in a heat wave above 100 degrees. It was one of those spiraling mind thoughts that seem to repeat Instant by instant rolling down as my eyes peered out of the Blackness like two lights seeking Humanity on the screen in front of me. I couldn't reach to the human next to me, but if my eyes kept seeking maybe the rest of me would come out of the darkness. I was alone as I ever was sitting in the sea of people full of ebs and wains, emotion likened to tides that a lone ship sitting in the death hollows of a sea that never moves, sun beating down but never seen, unlite only the heat and night remained.

Grave Yard Memoirs

 I could hear him from the other hospital room oh, but more I could hear him deep inside my soul and mind. I heard his groans of pain long sorrowful moans and there was another voice loud and predominant I think it was his sister. I got the impression he was about 65 afroamerica wizened man with white hair and deep black wrinkles under his eyes as he had been fighting death Breath by breath for sometime. His sister was there in prayer and in loving support as those moments waned on. He was so afraid and I was so close it was like I was eye-to-eye with him even though he was on a breathing machine completely hooked up to equipment keeping him alive. He suffered so and I felt it in my bones. I felt for him and also had a message for him. I reached out and told him, "It's okay you can let go, it's okay to let go of the pain, you will be okay". I let him know basically he was going to heaven and it was real. I wonder if to him my voice must have sounded like an angel in his moment of peril as he crossed from this life to the next. I heard all the machines alarm from down the hall as his breath left him but this time it wasn't in Terror it was a sound of peace in this last sound mixed with a sigh not like the moaning before. I felt his soul leave seeming to disappear shaking free of the white sheets and beyond the yellow tiles that line the walls and rooms. The sound his sister made as his life left him with a shriek of Sorrow that I have a heard a breif few times in my life. I couldn't reach her to give any Solstice like I had her brother in her time of need , but of course she wasn't across the veil like I was.

Acorn Cap

 We are so often defined by limitations that are set in front of us not by limitations we have set or surpassed. I just started a journey again. It opened the door to a lot of memories about the severity of my disability that I had pushed down from 10 years ago. The worst was the way I felt when I knew people were looking at me when I was in public fighting to regain a life that I would never see again. Life is like that; it moves on. I couldn't tell them my struggle and what stage I was in and I often didn't know for the first year or even more as my injury became a life long disability. I am revisiting that place but with an intent this time to again to heal. I went from a terrible state of seizures and loss of controls like walking well it is a spine issue. I went and learned to walk a long way then run, then run a long way until 4 years later I did a marathon. The point being in what I said at the beginning. I never ran more than 7-8 miles in my life, and I was the unreal fast without training for speed. 12 sec 100 meter in 20's. It took the disability that I still live with everyday, the one that I beat down after years and was the man who ran a 1/2 and then a full marathon 2013-14. I ran a 12.78 100 meter in 2013, 13.00 in 2014. I far surpassed anything in running I had done before in my life. I don't let people set my limitations anymore, That never ends well in heart of action and method of creation. My disability, well it does what it wants sometimes and that is my life. You see I can always decide to start running again. My only limitation is my disability, how far I want to go, and most of all how hard I fight. If I had a wish it might be that people might not so much see the falls as they do the fights. I started running again. Every day I run. I fall like I used to, I look like maybe I shouldn't be alone so stricken my stature in my battle as I fight the hill on my run, yet I get up, and I keep going. I come back the next day and do it all over again. Maybe I don't fall, but my disability is there with me often for all to see as I run, drag and push, interpose my inner struggle on the outside world by feats of personal relentlessness that I too recall from that time of running.  I pick up an acorn top by the Oak as I run. I put them in a jar at home one by one. An acorn top can make the loudest whistle in the world, if you know how and have the patience to practice until you get it right.    Be the little acorn cap, a bit of natures surprise and a testament to the will of humanity. 

Ps. I don't know where that came from but it did. 

THOR 

2Pac - Better Dayz (Original Version)

All day yesterday stretching into today I watched post after post all day long from celebrities, President elect Biden, the King family and every vestige of those who hold dear to hope, love, and dreams showed out; even the holy father sent a letter to Dr. Bernice King all in direct rebuke of the hate, lies, and violence of the last 4 years. America spoke yesterday after seeing the 'Bloody Sunday' of the capital all had enough and made homage to a martyr a true King in stature and humility, Dr. Martin Luther King. I recall an old video where a prominent journalist had Dr. King on a network talk show and he was introduced with these words, "The moral leader of our country.". I have seen that these dayz were coming for some time; for, when it is put to the test of 'Who were are' America always shows up, the heart of America shows up, the faith of America shows up, and 'The Dream' becomes alive. in 12 hours '#ANewHope Joe Biden with Vice President Kamala Harris will be inaugurated as the 46th president of these united states. Personally I am looking forward to, BETTER DAYZ. THOR