except from 'Soul Watching' chapter

      soul music 70's then to Christmas It is stormy today; the wind blows and the rain comes in heaves, and every time he pushes him closer to heaven the wind blows heralding the way, for the 4th Guardian. It was a thing to give a patch in ethernet, but that seemed to be Gods plan from, well I don't know Gods plan. I just  follow miracles around until I get where I am going. It is Christmas time and I sing a lot, pushing away the scenes of dread for the higher truth. Frosty the snow man played while I was taking Beshima to a friends and I dressed him in the same clothes' he was in for his wedding. I always dress everybody and today Ivan was Frosty the snowman and I dropped him off in heavan. Nancy was waiting and just watched him dance up until he too the hat off and the snow melted into a sparkly mist and there he stood, magic top hat in hand in his wedding tuxedo. Nancy was the kind of surprised you don't see much, full of love, waiting for him. I gave him joy doing that, and it helped him deal daily with the fact of his reality. I was dropping off Beshima and there was the object I couldn't figure the way to run for in a quick right I was sliding the corner and rolling into a parking lot full of Christmas trees. I got out and just grabbed one. Ivan is ecstatic now that we have a tree and couldn't wait to smell it. I lifted it and gave him a deep pull of the fresh needles into my lungs. I got an "Ahhh, fresh Christmas tree.." in return.

 I went home and got it inside with no breaks. It was sappy and on my hands and this time it was kind of cool. My steering wheel will be sticky for a bit. Ivan was saying, Flash back' over and over or idiot was breaking in. I stopped and wrote it down. I started thinking about all the time we spent together building this with chaos all around at times. We always got it done. "Cut that and then, but I often would be a few thoughts behind him. The shower for Beshima was a fiasco and, well he said one of those last things Marvin makes him say as he pushes him deeper, like well  you, death. He yelled, "I love Beshima! Yeah, I know. I'm a married man and chuckled." Every time he is pushed there he yelled something new and awesome. I learn so much from him. We are a kind of steadfast friend now sharing a 5 years span that it really tells you about how that love can turn an enemy into a friend, or even more a brother. We just hung out sometimes, like watching Lethal Weapon, Step brothers or morning cartoons. We spent a lot of time together. He forgets a lot of stuff overnight while I sleep. Marvin works on him all night, the horror always real to me. I did cry a few days ago and cleared myself of the love of souls and my only mourning; I took while still in the battle field. I have to let him go and I do, but it is never like that. I just flood him with images from his life which I knew from years ago, or I shared my life again in a huge flash of love with pictures of mine in my head or even better full memories. . He would spark right up. "I remember." I would do that in the dark times for him. I mean how dark can it get when your wife was just killed the same way your are being killed, the horror of the threat alive everyday for 28 days, more. Soul watching is not for the weak of spirit. Have people and God there is my suggestion. He gets really happy over the little things. He realized I ate my whole bowl of Cherry Garcia ice cream for him last night and spouted it out in the truck while driving. Driving, I can still take him on bike rides in my mind, went Easy Rider in the time it took to write this sentence. We always roll in full colors with the girls with us. We are all patched now, Guardians. The tree is here. Ivan like a kids has called it Beshima's tree all the way here. I'm kind of excited to it is my first Christmas tree in my home, our home. I bought it for her because she is leaving back to Persia and I want her to remember a good ol American Christmas. I got Green day playing, "I hope in the end you feel is it is just right, I hope you had the time of your life." The caged bird began to sing, he finally sang! Jingle bell Rock

70'S SOUL - The Temptations, Marvin Gaye, Commodores, James Brown, Parli...

The morning of the birth of the final solution, Peace Up IX Reconciliation. 

Let the whole world rejoice at it's coming. 

"A new day is dawning!" 

#THOR 

John Brown's Hidden Cave

 I shambled forward fighting through the thick fog to keep my eyes open and things straight and open the door. A Eugene police officer stood on my porch and the EMS paramedic was at the bottom of the stairs standing in the grass.

"Something is wrong with me. I'm passing out and I can't stop." I stated. "I need to go in; I need help." The paramedics took my vitals and looked at the police officer oh, I saw an almost imperceptible shaking his head from the officer. I couldn't say anything about the overdose which I knew what was happening on some form of narcotic. I know the mentality of the police and they would have taken me to the Johnson unit and charged me with attempted suicide. The fact that I have been beaten almost to death by the Springfield Police Department January 23rd my son's birthday of 2016 left it so the police did not want to help me in any way or form and actually preferred to have me dead. The attack was actually rather perfect, for the police and the EMS paramedic left me there on my stoop and I knew better than to plead. I went inside my home, my very first house, to die. An hour later I found myself upstairs vomiting violently attempting to fight off the overdose of heroin. I figured out that they must have put it in my coffee before I had taken my coffee outside when I smoked a cigarette and left it outside on my porch and came back an hour later to get it. They were watching everything I did from just a few hundred feet away so when the opportunity came to poison me they jumped on it.

I remember at first when I started hearing Ivan and Nancy's voice. At first I thought somehow someone had hacked into my phone and I was hearing voices coming through my phone, but the truth would be ever more disturbing. The truth, in a supernatural event it's sort of like a Deja Vu or a Daydream that you don't remember once it's gone but once you have another one you remember what the last one was about. That is kind of what happened to me, while I lay in bed I became so weak that I couldn't even talk anymore and told Ivan and Nikki that I was going to teach them how to Mind speak. I had run across people with telepathic abilities several times in my life Sherry from the apartments on Monroe 2001 Doug my good buddy a Vietnam Vectren who live down in Florence who had the most predominant ability of telepathy that I had ever seen before. He was a massive receiver. I was staying at Doug's house on his couch and I had visited him many times and observed him mumbling quietly to himself and conversation while smoking cigarettes and lay in bed . That night I was very stressed between lady that I had and the general Madness of a town that did not want to have a black man take one of their white women who was basically the community's whore off the street. As I thought about the Situation's Doug in the same room with me allowed his mumblings and voices to become loud enough for me to hear. As each and every thought came into my mind two voices one his and one kind of like an alter ego inside of him began talking about what I was thinking about. I laid there amazed after an hour and realize that this man was receiving my thoughts and was having conversation about them. Some are called receivers or senders or some can actually look through other people's eyes, but in Lay terms it's called mind speak. The next day I would have a very powerful and short truthful conversation with Doug the Vietnam vet. Doug you're not mentally ill you have a gift. They laddered you you while you were in Vietnam picking up on the term from the movie Jacob's Ladder and change your brain chemistry brother. You are a telepath and a receiver and you are not ill. Doug looks at me and could tell that every word I was saying was from my heart and the deepest truth that I could share with him as a brother. Something happened in those minutes and seconds when you see someone's Soul rise out of the darkness in myr and begin living again it is a thing to see and that is what happened with Doug. I couldn't believe that it was 30 years later 2003 Florence Oregon and no one had told this man the truth or even tried to help him. That is what I do. I'm the one in the dark that bumps back. The Lord Has Told unto me to bring light and love and truth to the darkest places.

As I write this in real time I am in the second event. Sept 13th 2021 and the voices speaking now want me dead like you would not believe for I am exposing a lie that is ruled and taking people's lives apart for so long. The natives had chosen years ago to select people to teach this skill to and it was never to be used for evil as it is now. The first man who showed me that there was control in the situation was a Hells Angel from Arizona that I was locked up with in 2004 a very good brother. I found him in a sort of trance and his lips were moving and I knew he was talking to someone. I stopped and sat next to him and remarked on this very action as I saw it. He was a big man, lean with huge shoulders, about 6' 3" with blue eyes and blond silver hair and not from here at all. We were at the smoke area at CCC Lane adult corrections Center. I was waiting for my ride out to the forest Work Camp and he was just waiting to go home to Arizona. Makes me wonder right now if he's part of the Cave Creek clubhouse where the Dead In 5 Heartbeats movie by Sonny Barger originated from.

" I was talking to my wife as she walks away; she was here for visiting a little while ago."

" I could tell that you were in communication with someone." I replied.

He looked deep into my eyes, That is the third time you have given me chills Thor." " Who are you?"

I smiled back. " I am here to change everything." I replied.

He leaned back and entered his communication trance and I heard "John." Audibly in my ear. I jumped.

I looked at him in shock. "That was your voice." I blurted out.

As I laid in bed I was verbally talking but as I said my energy had wane so far that I couldn't even move my mouth anymore to speak and such I began speaking without saying anything and that is called mind speak. It is not just general thoughts, but is like having conversation just like a person was right there. Most thoughts are not consolidated into words, this is part of the truth of how it is done, and also the trap that can make a event last longer.

This is the story I told them." I want to tell you about John Brown's cave and cache of weapons and other items that John Brown the abolitionist had hidden in Harpers Ferry and how I found the secret cave in 1986 during the summer in August when it had been so dry that a hidden chamber on an upper route through John Brown's cave. It was deep in the cave I found a small upside down V of granite forming a small opening just large enough for a human to go through and a puddle of water at the end of a very long tunnel pushed through the mud creating an opening. This was a mud cave not a granite cave and it was created by the water flow that moved under the town twisting and turning driving the mud out directly under the cemetery on top of the hill overlooking Harpers Ferry. The cave system at its lowest point held a small underground stream that still flowed. If you stand at the train bridge where the Ohio River and Shenandoah met. Look to your right up to Shenandoah you can follow the train tracks until it comes to a bluff made of old southern red tan mud and behind a couple of boards lay the opening to John Brown's cave. As a young boy I had always loved the stories of John Brown the abolitionist and if one were to read the words of Henry David Thoreau in his essay "Plea for John Brown." You also may find the Great and Powerful stature of a man who is sent he felt to do the right thing by God's hand and free the slaves of the Southern States. As I was saying I found this very small Channel and back upper left quadrant of John Brown's cave that dove down to a very low level and had a small pool of water. I was with an Outward Bound group and we were all using the gas headlamps so I couldn't go through the water without extinguishing my light. I called what I had found back up the line and one of the professional spelunkers with a flashlight head light came down and quickly do through the V and I watched his feet disappear and I followed him next and soon all the other students and staff of The Rock would follow us into this small opening. On the other side of the opening it quickly turned into a tall Channel with mud on either side in the further we got in the deeper the mud was on each side two to three feet thick in a V formation with us at the bottom and about 4 or 5 ft high. You could tell that the water had finally punched through after God knows how many years maybe over 100 and revealed the cavern that we were now walking into. The professional spelunkers were beside themselves in the fact that I had found a cavern that nobody had mapped ever. They tried to shine their flashlights to the ceiling but could not see it only for the granite seem to press together in the top and still the light only touched the tip of them as their tops for lost in the darkness and Gloom of the cavern. I began jumping up and down yelling "Do you know where we are?" Not able to control my excitement. It seems I was the only one of the group who knew the legend of John Brown's cave in the fact that they had never found it and it was a cash full of weapons and money. I knew if we pressed it up into the main part of the cave at one end of the other if one were to dig down you would find guns and silver and gold and other things from over a hundred years ago when John Brown took his secret cave to his grave as they hung him by the neck in front of the fire station not a quarter of a mile from where we were Underground.

"This is John Brown's hidden cave!" The awe of the moment and where we were the evidence of the mud that was feet stick like nowhere else in the cave as if this place had been sealed like a great tomb by the floods in muds and in that all also came fear and the professional spelunkers in the staff turned the class around and we left.

That is the story that I told Ivan and Nancy as I begin a mind speak that would turn into one of the most terrifying ordeals of my life for it would last from November of 2016 until somewhere during the summer of 2017. My doctor Julie and her assistant Josie who are steadfast during this time. And would not just push me off into Mental Illness but listen to my words in my truth and they are the ones who have notes on the event as it continued. Writings from. The Eye of Thor.

I am telling you this now because I am in the second event brought on by the fact that these doors have been opened in my mind since I was poisoned with Heroin. Right now it is being used in an evil way and I have been under attack physically and psychologically and spiritually by these people but now they have no strength over me for I walk with God Sai Baba is my teacher and you will not know until you see the Lord to Shirdi where you shall now be and I'm speaking to those were listening cuz they have to.

#TheEyeofTHOR

Grave Yard memoirs Theater

 There is no more Hollow feeling then being in a theater full of people laughing and living on cue and you can't feel enough human emotion to even smile. The dark just seem to roll in at those times, dark and soupy like living a night in a heat wave above 100 degrees. It was one of those spiraling mind thoughts that seem to repeat Instant by instant rolling down as my eyes peered out of the Blackness like two lights seeking Humanity on the screen in front of me. I couldn't reach to the human next to me, but if my eyes kept seeking maybe the rest of me would come out of the darkness. I was alone as I ever was sitting in the sea of people full of ebs and wains, emotion likened to tides that a lone ship sitting in the death hollows of a sea that never moves, sun beating down but never seen, unlite only the heat and night remained.

Grave Yard Memoirs

 I could hear him from the other hospital room oh, but more I could hear him deep inside my soul and mind. I heard his groans of pain long sorrowful moans and there was another voice loud and predominant I think it was his sister. I got the impression he was about 65 afroamerica wizened man with white hair and deep black wrinkles under his eyes as he had been fighting death Breath by breath for sometime. His sister was there in prayer and in loving support as those moments waned on. He was so afraid and I was so close it was like I was eye-to-eye with him even though he was on a breathing machine completely hooked up to equipment keeping him alive. He suffered so and I felt it in my bones. I felt for him and also had a message for him. I reached out and told him, "It's okay you can let go, it's okay to let go of the pain, you will be okay". I let him know basically he was going to heaven and it was real. I wonder if to him my voice must have sounded like an angel in his moment of peril as he crossed from this life to the next. I heard all the machines alarm from down the hall as his breath left him but this time it wasn't in Terror it was a sound of peace in this last sound mixed with a sigh not like the moaning before. I felt his soul leave seeming to disappear shaking free of the white sheets and beyond the yellow tiles that line the walls and rooms. The sound his sister made as his life left him with a shriek of Sorrow that I have a heard a breif few times in my life. I couldn't reach her to give any Solstice like I had her brother in her time of need , but of course she wasn't across the veil like I was.

Acorn Cap

 We are so often defined by limitations that are set in front of us not by limitations we have set or surpassed. I just started a journey again. It opened the door to a lot of memories about the severity of my disability that I had pushed down from 10 years ago. The worst was the way I felt when I knew people were looking at me when I was in public fighting to regain a life that I would never see again. Life is like that; it moves on. I couldn't tell them my struggle and what stage I was in and I often didn't know for the first year or even more as my injury became a life long disability. I am revisiting that place but with an intent this time to again to heal. I went from a terrible state of seizures and loss of controls like walking well it is a spine issue. I went and learned to walk a long way then run, then run a long way until 4 years later I did a marathon. The point being in what I said at the beginning. I never ran more than 7-8 miles in my life, and I was the unreal fast without training for speed. 12 sec 100 meter in 20's. It took the disability that I still live with everyday, the one that I beat down after years and was the man who ran a 1/2 and then a full marathon 2013-14. I ran a 12.78 100 meter in 2013, 13.00 in 2014. I far surpassed anything in running I had done before in my life. I don't let people set my limitations anymore, That never ends well in heart of action and method of creation. My disability, well it does what it wants sometimes and that is my life. You see I can always decide to start running again. My only limitation is my disability, how far I want to go, and most of all how hard I fight. If I had a wish it might be that people might not so much see the falls as they do the fights. I started running again. Every day I run. I fall like I used to, I look like maybe I shouldn't be alone so stricken my stature in my battle as I fight the hill on my run, yet I get up, and I keep going. I come back the next day and do it all over again. Maybe I don't fall, but my disability is there with me often for all to see as I run, drag and push, interpose my inner struggle on the outside world by feats of personal relentlessness that I too recall from that time of running.  I pick up an acorn top by the Oak as I run. I put them in a jar at home one by one. An acorn top can make the loudest whistle in the world, if you know how and have the patience to practice until you get it right.    Be the little acorn cap, a bit of natures surprise and a testament to the will of humanity. 

Ps. I don't know where that came from but it did. 

THOR 

2Pac - Better Dayz (Original Version)

All day yesterday stretching into today I watched post after post all day long from celebrities, President elect Biden, the King family and every vestige of those who hold dear to hope, love, and dreams showed out; even the holy father sent a letter to Dr. Bernice King all in direct rebuke of the hate, lies, and violence of the last 4 years. America spoke yesterday after seeing the 'Bloody Sunday' of the capital all had enough and made homage to a martyr a true King in stature and humility, Dr. Martin Luther King. I recall an old video where a prominent journalist had Dr. King on a network talk show and he was introduced with these words, "The moral leader of our country.". I have seen that these dayz were coming for some time; for, when it is put to the test of 'Who were are' America always shows up, the heart of America shows up, the faith of America shows up, and 'The Dream' becomes alive. in 12 hours '#ANewHope Joe Biden with Vice President Kamala Harris will be inaugurated as the 46th president of these united states. Personally I am looking forward to, BETTER DAYZ. THOR

"Profite De Ta Vie-Enjoy your life."

 I am 52 years old and been in kitchens off and on for 34 years. It has been way more on than off, but homelessness and drug addiction can take its toll on anybody, so a few years off during that time following with college to get right again and rebuild. Am I saying too much? I rather just keep it real; I crossed 10 years clean. The pandemic has been terrible for the industry and even so after the spring break I was again in a kitchen feeding people even during the fires in Oregon. I wrote a essay back then about what it means to take people away from their worries to a special time or place, so they could have comfort for a meal. I posted it and gathered over a 1k comments on several platforms. The responses reminded me and I had reminded them about why we do what we do in the kitchen for long hours and not much pay often. We do it for joy of others and something else and that I found tonight and want to share. It is rare that a guest will actually ask to see the Chef/Cook to thank them for the meal, and it is rarer when we get 1-3 minuets to run out of the kitchen take a running high five and return to flip a steak. It is all shut down here for in house dinning in Oregon and I am not in the kitchen again now coming on 3 months. I dutifully make my own food still finding time to try new things, but then I have to eat it all or find someone to give it to. That of course is a joy when I find a hungry soul. Hmm, is that what we look for a hungry soul I ponder? Netflix and I have become very close with a long list of movies' that require finishing. It so happens tonight I found a gem. I am watching 'Julie and Julia' and keep listening to Meryl Streep enliven and channel Julia Childs and can hear both the voice of the book by Julia Childs I am reading and bring forth memories of watching Chef Childs as a young man. I took a pause, I note this for the Mexican Wedding cookies I again batched out are making a mess, and my cat loves to lick the sugar off if she gets a chance. I let her just to laugh when she gets a snootful of powdered sugar and then blast it on the table, and I am a nice fellow whoes cats love cookies. Well back to what I was saying about Julie and Julia which is on pause right now. Julie just rolled over sleeping while her timer went of for the Beef Bourguignon and I threw my hands in the air yelling "Nooooo". My cat looked at me with query wondering what had gone wrong and quickly pay me no attention. I had finished the cookie. I have been so excited during this movie as Julie had to kill the Lobster, Music: "Lobster killer ..." end music or as Julia talks about creating a mayo that is 'scientific' as she says. I get that. I often bring up TAT charts for recipe creation or break down concepts in scientific terms while discussing food on the internet and can match both Julie' and Julia's excitement of discovery that is our profession of culinary arts. The way that every cuisine is out there in print for everyone to see from all corners of the globe is a treasure that never runs out. I thought to myself how cool it was to follow an idea like cooking every recipe in The French Way like Julie is doing, then I remember that I did a cooking show for 5 years while I taught myself to walk, run, then ran a marathon in year 3 after my injury trauma and most of all I had to stop having my seizures from the trauma to get back into a kitchen. I did all sorts of cooking with 3k videos teaching people with the only thing I had Food Stamps and a camera. I don't advise getting hurt 2 terms from a degree, but well life happens. The need to stay involved was what drove me and it is exactly what drives Julie and Julia. Cooking is a way to reach not just yourself but others and that is the essence of what I want to say. If you might be down and out like many people are during this pandemic I suggest finding ways to rekindle that joy and passion of cooking that we all have who bustle the tile floors and stainless steel with monsters of heat all around in simple chaos of creation that is our place of comfort. I have so many books about cooking and I am always reaching out to fellow Chefs to speak food, but sometimes something is missing since I am not in a working kitchen. While watching this movie full of memories and laughter it brought much of that what seems to drift away, Joe my cat came looking for more cookies and snorted when none were evident just now. I thought I would stop and write to you all and say, "Bon Appetit" and more so "Profite De Ta Vie-Enjoy your life." I have told my doctor that "When you go to China, Brazil, or France the human body does not change, but for us Chefs the local food, products, and the cuisines all change and there is never and end to what we can learn."

Well good night everyone. I am going back to see how Julie deals with a dried out Beef Bourguignon when she wakes up. Will she call out of work sick to remake it? Does she wake up and start cooking all over again? It's not like you can change the menu... We all have been there, with a "Fkn kill me now." as we burned a Glace, and now out off all the Veal bones in the house, or watched in horror at the souffle fell for the visiting Chef's dessert that came to your house to see your magic. What do you do?

Chef John

Martin Luther King, Jr., "What Is Your Life's Blueprint?"

If you don't know. It was in 2014-2015 that all the speech's of Dr. King were suddenly released from many arenas. The King family had them locked away for a long time. They I am told by my father who was in Selma with King and John Lewis and worked with Corretta Scott King he said, "That the family wasn't ready to let them be public." 50 years is when something becomes history is what I was told long ago by a history professor as a young man. I am 52 and as a boy every year the "I have a Dream" speech would be released on TV in part. It was appointment TV back then; everyone all watching at the same time. We would have a film in school often that would speak about the 'March on Washington" and every kid and every adult knew the words, "I have a dream." and what it meant. I had a poster in my room as a young man with those words printed on it with a picture of Dr. King. I would really like to have you think if you are younger than I and even more so if you are 30 or below what it means that you have Dr. King right here at your finger tips able to watch. listen, and even read his notes in videos. We did not have that when I was a boy, a young man or even in my 30's. We had books yes, but to listen to what he said back then is amazing. "The moral leader' of a generation he was called by millions, by almost the whole nation back then, and we do not have his rival or his like with us today. I don't think that is a bad thing; for, new generations and new leaders are being born everyday helping us to the goal of, "We just want you to be true to what you put down on paper." MLK. I am writing this now; for, the capital was attacked this week and the congress and senate had their "Bloody Sunday' of Selma. It is up to us to come together like a whole nation the first time the White Christians, and other faiths joined with the Blacks at the March in Selma and change everything. Thank you Rodges Lawton for up loading this piece of history for all people of the world to listen to and find their 'Life's Blue Print' God Bless. THOR

#MLK: The Three Evils of Society // #Nonviolence365

Today is January 6th 2020, and the US capital has been assaulted and invaded, and now the congress and the senate have witnessed the Selma of the 21st Century. I say now more than ever the 3 evils of society have been placed in the lives of the American citizen be you Black or White, Democratic or Republican, "Now is the time!" to make a change that will reach every citizen of this country so we will live in humble greatness of democracy. THOR

Civil Disobedience Audiobook by Henry David Thoreau

If words of a man seemed to keep coming like the tide, then Thoreau would be a King tide. Plea for John Brown, Civil disobedience, and of course Walden are essays that could build a nation or set one to a change so great that word citizen would be as strong as the word nation. THOR

Rabbit, Chef John, Dedicated Ghetto Kids

Rabbits debut on The Chef John Ghetto Gourmet Show long time ago when I worked at Hope Community Church.

Good Trouble needs Healing Time

    Today a great man was laid to rest, John Lewis was the leader of a generation of young civil rights soldiers and a modern day visionary that today was compared to Gandhi, King, and Mandela by President Obama during his eulogy. I consider that fine company if there ever was any, and any of us with a great heart and compassion hopes to emulate these great men by the simple act of compassion towards our fellow human being. Today the story of how John Lewis was beaten on bloody Sunday was punctuated by pictures of state police driving peaceful protesters before them with batons and boots. A picture also had John Lewis with his head wrapped as he prepared for the march from Selma to Montgomery. If you look at the dates March 1st was the beating and March 7th was the March were the whole country came to help and be a part of one of the most important marches in this countries history. I have spoken of this before and told how my father was there for the march as a journalist and a marcher. Those who have met me know that I am mixed, and my father is a white man. I had the honer of meeting with leaders of today in BLM and Black Unity and told a few stories about my father and his experiences, but the real message of this essay to to the citizen soldiers of today. I am sure John Lewis knows how you feel after being beaten, thrown in jail, and dealing with brutality of hand, of voice, and of empathy for your fellow soldier in this fight. I to know how you feel. Today the Lewis family asked that there be no marches or protests in honor of his life, and that really was a calling for a time of healing in essence. A time to take stock and look at the joys of life and gather strength. John Lewis was a great lover of joy and the simple pleasures that make all people laugh and love.
         It was the day after my beating by Springfield Police in 2015 and I was sore all over as I waited in a hotel room. My head was pounding and I was throwing up constantly from the concussion that would last almost a year, and I still had not heard from my attorney for I surely was not going home alone where the police could find me. I had no one really who I could turn to who was close and within a phone call. I had called my Dad and he tried to calm me down, but I could tell he was shaken. This was my second savage beating by police in my life time, and really who has to got through it twice? Soldiers do that is who. I had to take time for healing. I watched T.V. and got the rest I could. It was the 3rd day after I heard from my attorney and it was safe to got home that I sat back and relaxed, and this deep calm came over me, a resolute decision was born in my mind and I went home with strength and purpose. That day I would write a deeply profound work that was the final in a string of writings that took some 17 years of my life. It was called Exodus and to be sure it was being about 'Good Trouble'.
     A time to heal is needed. No soldier in warfare goes to war wounded they go to heal so they can be strong in the fight, strong in heart, in spirit, and in action. Those of us who have such deep love and compassion that pushes us to care for our fellow man or woman who is unjustly treated same as it was that pushed John Lewis to action in civil rights his whole life so he was then called the 'Moral Leader' of the House of Representatives' Not the Dems or GOP the whole house, is the same love that drives the citizen soldiers of today to continue to fight for rights of their fellow humans by seeking out 'Good Trouble' that just might get your head busted. I say for a day lets honor this request and look for inspiration, maybe read 'Civil Disobedience' by Thoreau, watch the Movie Selma and pray with King as he kneel before the Edmund Pettus bridge or The Help and laugh as she eats pie, or Gandhi and be inspired as he marches to the sea or drop tears as the march against the salt works brutality and strength of Satyagraha shakes the very core of human ethos. I hope in this way you can find new energy and new joys and understand what is happening today that hurts will pass and the reality of joys live much longer, and that is why really that be about 'Good Trouble' is so sweet.
Love and respect,

THOR

         

Portland Police Bureau Revokes First Amendment for Journalists

Let's talk about Trump, flags, and fire....

Cops gets canceled and Happy Days returns to TV. Race was a issue brought into Americas homes by these two shows

It was 1984 when the drug war started and race issues began to be distorted on TV. TV was a major part of this as COPS premiered on Saturday night replacing Happy Days, Lavern And Shirley, Love Boat, and Fantasy Island, and it ran for 30 years. Happy Days used to be Saturday nights social cue and so were the other programs. 2 weeks ago they put Happy Days back on the air on METV, and the network canceled Cops. Tom Bosley of Happy Days was 'America's Dad' during the late 70's and early 80's and race was taken on and discussed like today's episode were Merium did not even know she was being prejudiced until Tom Bosley explained her actions were prejudiced. She had a woke moment. The Fonz and Richie had a positive discussion about race and of course the Fonz was always cool and kids all over wanted to be like the Fonz or Richie. In the 70's races were just beginning to mix and in school kids were the first generation to spend 12 years together, but when the kids saw the answers to race issues first hand because of shared time and experience the parents sometimes missed a beat. TV was a way for America to learn lessons from shows that had 30 Million people watching them every weekend, and to bring the discussion into all American homes. Lavern and Shirley is on now. Have a great day as we relive the lessons that Gen X white America and our parents the Boomers learned when were kids via TV. If you want to know why there is so much hate fostered in some from Gen Y and some Millennial's TV was a direct result to social change or social derision.

Springfield Police Beating during Seizure

BornSuspect "I felt big chunks of feces rolling down my legs, I continued screaming, "Stop' "Help" my neighbors stood around me yelling at the Police, "Stop he is having seizures." The Police kept beating me."… Jan 22 2015 after 7 assaults by Springfield, Oregon POLICE during seizure episodes and a investigation carried out by the City of Springfield, Oregon Government (110k population demo .03% Afro-American) City Manager Gino and Mayor Lundberg who I was very honored to have them take point on such a sensitive situation as the last assault which busted my face and nose leaving me at home bleeding wondering WTFrog. Sept. of the year before. I found myself chased by hate to a new home. I fall and have seizure like activity all the time, and after training for huge races after teaching myself to walk and run again after my h/c changed my life

Many people knew who I was and got on T.V. as A Chef helping people was a bonus, so my old neighborhood, calls for a man seizing were often not made. .. I left my home at 

 8:36

  to catch the 

 8:40

  bus to Riverbend Hospital. i was out of meds and having way too many episodes and falls, and headed for the EMZ bus. I never made it off my apt property, (mini ghetto, mini town) I fell and couldn't move. I had my hospital bag with me with notes about my condition, extra shorts and socks, (Just in case..) and Nelson Mandela's "Long walk to Freedom." which I read during my visits. I was laying there and a person asked if I needed help I said no and he said he would be back, another offered me a cigarette when I told him I was having a seizure. I waited to crackup until he had left. He was trying to be nice. Then feet were around me. I said sir are you officers, but with the sudden light in my eyes I knew it was police. I began to tell them what i had been told to do by City manager and Sgt in charge of last investigation. I repeated my name my conditions, including PTSD from a brutal beating when I was 21 Jan 13th 1990 and asked them to run me, there was some discussion and a contact then I Spasmed an my tobacco pipe hit the ground. "Here it starts. You see I have been writing all about #SELMA Selma Movie since seeing it and telling of my father's March with ML King, my father is white and a journalist but he went to be a marcher. He heard kings call. I also have been being watched by police, this very writing will be on their screens right now. I met via fb a person from the movie and was highly honored and moved" {I AM NOBODIES BOY! and never have been. Things were going south quick these men wanted me.. and would not let me see them by using the light on my eye's as I lay now face down for last spasm. 1st the attempt to take my bag and attempted to take it. I pulled back. or my seizure did. you see if you pull on my arm my body will pull back. I have nothing to do with it, and if you try to hold me down you are going to get a ride. I can crunch 6O lbs. they tried then they began beating me. I began to scream, "HELP' HELP!" know that at this point alone My life was in danger. I continued to fight having my seizures by controlling myself best I could. but I A M H/C, so it is an ISSUE, they continued to beat me and kick and stomp my back, my kidney's my head, they grabbed my head and began pounding it on the rain road tie, so i put my hands down then they go my kidneys real good with several blows. "I am shiting my pants I screamed in terror, and this repeated." "stop' always "STOP!" and this time my neighbors where there yelling to, a few whom met me the Christian Pastor out in front just swinging her hand, and yelling. I dove my head to the side just wanting the arrest to happen, and they pounded my head into the asphalt as I relaxed and gave them my arms. l Then one last huge knee to the left side of my neck. The place where my h/c originates from. They cuffed me and then left me. All the other police came, and they pulled me onto the concrete and left me on my back cuffed. the EMS said this time they would not take me. ?? that's a first it is me usual saying no I will be okay. I began another seizure with my head pouncing against the ground, "Help me! Someone please, please cradle my head." Quickly an officer was there. He said do you remember me? I am one of the nice ones. I had no idea who he was. I knew he was acting with compassion and that is all I cared about, and thanked him. Cahoots the hippies came and said in my ear "let us get you out of this." I was going to jail. I then just before they unlocked me told them all the joke about the guy who offered me a cigarette. I got a chuckle out of most. I sweat in a hotel room and then something happened a inner calm setting me to do. A mantle of great responsibility. and then it didn't matter what happened. I got a call from my attorney and went home. One word, to be home with my cats. Amen. 2015

Time for the Organization of the Black Lives Matter Movement

Today is June 19th 2020; I want to start out by telling you a story. A professor of mine in college hung out with the Black Panthers in Oakland and he told me about a Panther that went down in the deep South in the 60's. He was picked up by the police and back then the jails were split into black and white holding and these cops decide to put him into the white cell expecting by morning the 'good ol boys' would teach him a lesson, but this did not happen. He organized them. My prof asked me "What did he say?" It took me 3 months of thinking to answer the question. That panther used his skills of identifying the issues they had and helped them to understand their collective power to bring about change for their own community. BLM is not organized that I can see into a form of maximum mobility and able to act as a cohesive movement for every city and small town across the country, and if we done't address change on a scale that is massive reaching all these places we will fall short of a national goal for systematic change. Please don't take this as a insult; for, I am trying to help every group, city, state and the movement as a whole. I do not want to be the leader for you have found those coming forth all over the nation from the great cities like D.C., New York, Chicago, Seattle, and Atlanta to little town like here in Oregon were Eugene and Roseburg towns with a vast demographic of whites have come forth with their black brothers and sisters or Florence South Carolina were high School students have made their mark. All over this country leaders of every walk are now coming together after 2 weeks of protests and creating direct policies and demands working with the existing structure to implement change in policing, in community outreach, in budgets, and in the very essence of systematic racism that is changing as we move forward. Every night the news all across the nation from major media to local stations are telling the story of change. I could go on and on about all the work that has been done and that needs to be done and this will be different for every town and city. Yes the message is the same in protests, but in Facebook groups I see a chance to organize better and that is the main medium being used right now to gather new recruits and spread the work of Black Lives Matter. I tried to enter a local group here in Oregon and wound up in groups that had no center and had people from all over the country or all over the world even. A few groups were built partly by word of mouth which I consider a great way to find true soldiers for the cause, but others were not done with that great deliberation that meeting during a protest can achieve. I entered 5 and looked over about 10 ranging in size from a few hundred to 15k. A admin of one group said the had 400 request in 3 hours and needed help to vet all the new people. I heard one admin use a facebook tool that would not allow new profiles to be used. I found lots of profiles that were create June 6th and they often were causing dissent and some of these people are dangerous.The problems are numerous, from location, central message, logistics, infiltrators, and the ability to coordinate the "Troops'. I have long studied MLK, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and and the history of the civil rights movement and time all the way back to the civil war. The organization and logistical control was massive during the civil rights era, from 10k men named g George the Train Porters, SNCC, College students, Local and national church groups and any other group that wanted to be a part thus requiring a team for every type of issue, Each place it changed and a new set of goals needed to be assessed. The same outline be used in every situation incorporating the 4 steps of a nonviolent action campaign as out lined by Martin Luther King Jr. The 4 basic steps are: 1. Collection of the facts to determine whether injustices are alive. 2. Negotiation. 3. Self purification of those who will be engaging in the final step. 4. Action.
I spoke to my father Jerome Ernst a life long worker for civil rights and activism as a journalist with his award winning work in Selma in the Extension Magazine and for the National Catholic Conference for Interracial Justice in DC on what he would do and he said that organization was the key to success in every campaign. He told me a story about the night before the march across the Edmund Pettus bridge in Selma. They were gathered in a room to undergo the purification step; for, they did not know if there was to be violence. They had just gone through "Bloody Sunday" and lots of protesters were beaten savagely.The organizers had everyone curl up on the floor and close their eyes and then went around beating them with rolled up news papers and screaming at them. Dad said, "It scared the heck out of me." Each step of the four steps can be expanded to include all scenarios or issues.
National, State, Local chapters and centers need to be set. The next part in organization is to have a center of information, goals, jobs needed doing, and those who will do the jobs. It could be a blog with out lines, or a central email. The leaders could be singular or a committee and then the communication can be organized. Lots of energy and momentum is being lost and the militant right wing white supremacist groups are able to gather information and form counter actions just due to organization and lack of security.
It is paramount that welfare of those involved in the struggle be a top priority. Terrible things have already happened, and  extremists who want to stop the BLM movement are still in our communities every avenue to keep people safe should be considered. 
The movement now has so many 'Troops' that they should have enough people do get everything done in the way of protest goals and that includes keeping protesters and community safe. We have the power of the internet and don't have to wait on letters in the mail, or make phone calls, yet these are still great tools. Snail mail still rocks and is secure. Work with those in the community you are at to develop organization, and to achieve goals. There are lawyers, NAACP, and other social groups and workers who will help you work with politicians to make a plan to change our communities. As we move into a new phase from protests, to assessing the facts of injustice, to negotiation, to direct action within each community let us do so with forethought and set goals that can be attained with the massive waking of our communities. I consider it fit and proper that we also do what we can to educate our fellow citizens that might not understand what we are doing, so they can be a part of the solution. There will always be resistance to change, yet if the final goals are for more freedom and security in a society and less hate and fear we shall over come all obstacles
Dr. King had a dream and we are bring it to full life, Let freedom ring from every hill and dale, let freedom ring in every song and every chant, let freedom ring from the streets to the halls of justice. Let freedom ring so loud that the whole world will see that,
"Now is the time!"
Thank you.
No Fear
https://theeyeofthor.blogspot.com/2015/01/selma.html
THOR

On Death and Dying

On Death and Dying,

The world left.

It did not make a sound shutting the door.

It did not go into the coming night.

There was no feeling of an empty room to tell of it's passing.

The world left without a thought.

It left into nothing leaving nothing not even the cold grave.

In fact you don't even get this. 
The world left.

Why am I ill. 
Why am I am still in hiding in a dumpster terrified at every noise? 
Why what did I do as I was beaten savagely, I ask what did I do?
Why are you hanging them from trees?
Why did you lie to so you can have them chase and kill me?
Why are you debating that this is wrong?
Why are you killing them with too much heroin when they are addicts for fun? 
Why after walking away from all that violence, 10 years, college, career even though I have severe h/c to find peace, I never seem to? 
Why won't people who I love and help with PTSD won't stop killing themselves while I am the only one who knows they are sick?
Why does that same man in the truck keep coming by?
Why did he yell "Niqqer you're dead!" at my home over and over for a year?
Why do I keep watching the murders by police, video after video? 
Why do I keep writing about this it makes me worse?
Why do I keep going back for another brother? 
Why can't I walk or talk some times and shake non stop? 
Why won't anyone listen? 
Why? 
Why Jesus are you making me do this alone for a whole life of racist attacks and murder attempts? Why are you pointing that gun at me? 
Why are you dry clicking the gun on the wall from the apartment next door? 
Why did my nephew jump? 
Why do my whole family have to save my life flying 1000s of miles to see me help me buy a house? 
Why do people judge me because I shake now can't talk? 
Why do children get dragged away from me by their parents?
Why did that lady make that up and call police?
Why won't they remember all the free work I did for the community asking nothing but peace, 40 hours a week for 4 years at a church and cooking show all the benefits? 
Why I am I again in that dumpster? 
Why did I board up my windows in my new home?  
Why do the police want me in terror? 
Why do they keep saying "I'm going to kill you ..?"You just open the door we will do the rest,"
Why Won't anyone listen?
Why is America trying to save me?
Why is America trying to kill me?
Why am I a black man running again for his life?
Why am I dying?
Why?  

A Change Is Gonna Come

1,000 killing by police a year is three a day. We are at a time when these killings are top news cycle daily, videos are being made by cameras all the time, and we get to informed on maybe 1 a week nationally if we are lucky. Math tells me that the people being lost is kind of beyond comprehension. If I had to read three reports each day of a police killing for a month, 100 people killed, I think if anyone would have to read that much it would make such a profound mark on their well being that "A change" would be in the works by the very ethos, pathos, and logos that is the human condition.  THOR