Autzen Stadium "Dreams in their Eyes."

"The Dreams in their Eyes."


I am one of those, those over gifted athletes who never had to try, not hard. Yeah, I practiced, was on a team, teams Varsity, H.S., but I never really had a reason, ever.  I even have sweat shirt from the team at college; I was always fast and I just joined to get a easy A, just to get my degree. I was going somewhere else in life finally; I had direction. College will do that point you in a direction give you something you think you can do and live on possibly enjoy. If you get a chance to be a part of a team, any team group something done with hard work and group effort even when it's ugly, and you pass through it or even over come it and be the winner you were part of a team. Never lose that, and you earned it, the earning more is what we want to hear next. The beating this world hands down a winner in everyone's eyes, and that is a fine and noble goal, but if we really tried hard what would we become?
 The next thing that happens changes it all, one trauma, one fall, one tear, break missed ball or note in a song. You can't go back and change the music, you can't ever go back, and catch the ball, make the push when you should of. It happened to me, and I had to get up and dust off, I had to get up, and keep going, I had to train like no man should train unless he is going to do something really hard. I had to train like every thing that I wanted and hoped for was at risk. I had to train like I had the very devil him self chasing me and I was trying to keep up with big G. I got up. I trained everyday, I worked everyday, everything I did with purpose and need of greatness that pushes boundaries, and I broke a few. I was becoming that winner. I was setting records and doing what I know other said could not be done.
 Tragedy is part of life and it again touched me, and all I knew. I was down again. I got back up and I ran. I trained. I would run to the plaque at Autzen Stadium and read the engraving. I would get down on one knee and cross my self into prayer then getting up renewed.  I would read just a few lines, about the mothers who so believed in the dreams in their children's eyes, who supported them and loved them raising them to reach their dreams. You see that's it right there in essence of why I get back up and shine, and it's the essence of every Duck who reads this, it is the essence of every student who said I am going the extra mile, the extra set, the extra, long distance until then their night was not through, until then they couldn't rest, why they had dreams in their eyes.
  
I called the front at Autzen office one day. People were defacing  the plaque, they were stepping on something that had become sacred, and I called because it kept happening. I called because it meant something big to me does it to you?
"What are the Dreams in you Eyes?"
THOR 

'A Few Bad Apples'

    "Signs of Horror"


A viral atomic bomb is not fun living through for the collateral damage to the community is a stain hard to wash away, and a 10 second sound bite on the News doesn't cut it, never does.
I writing this to Bethel-Danebo first my neighbors, Eugene next, and most of all to the person who I have not met, yet is in full right to feel the way they do about the signs in my front yard spewing racial injustice. I agree with you, and I shall explain how.
I lived in Springfield at a new place where I was not accepted right off, and then things began to get bad, the racism started by just one or two people with direct actions, twisted behavior, and criminality after trying unsuccessfully on repeated attempts to get Courts help which made it worse. I moved to Bethel. I knew the neighborhood and chose here to make a home. I am poor, handicapped, I live on SSD, food stamps, and my father gave me a gift of a life time, a home and not just a small home but the future Thunder Café in essence, more than I have ever dreamed. There is a story of great tragedy to my family that provided financially for this. I do not deserve such love, I am the Prodigal Son come home, and thus as he came; I come humbly and ask for forgiveness from my community.
A few bad apples. I moved here and the hate followed was brought to my new home, you can walk Roosevelt, and some of the Tags are still there, the corner mail box sporting the 'N' word name address is painted over, what you couldn't see is what was happening every night timed when all the workers in the yards, offices, and rail yards left and it got worse during the weekends.  Real violence, jumping attempts, drive-byes, home invasion attempts, break ins meant to scare me, long nights of people coming to my home, verbal threats, pounding on my door, wall windows by many people. They knew the truckers and the lumberyard guys were watching my home, and the neighbors I talked to, but at night it went wild. In four months every weekend, everyday it grew. I knew several of the people in listed in this racial hate that they fostered as their beliefs,  by name, interactions, and by face 'A Few Bad Apples'  others were along for get the "N" game hand waiting for the free bag. I was in the Wal-Mart and this girl says in front of my church member "How much will,Rodrigo give me of I hit with him with the cart?" I was no longer able to leave my home because this person kept feeding the neighborhood every weekend it was the worst on the first. It got to the point were I only went to Church, I work there and have for four years then they came to my church, you see I run the Facebook page for church among other things, and they knew when I left my home on Sunday, and when I went to church. I called Police twice in last month form them being at my church. It was a growing cancer under the unseen eyes of Bethel. I said from "Selma to Springfield would be a title Dad.!" after watching the movie and constantly deep into MLK works I jested at I moved to Bethel. Their was no jest, I told Dad to sell the house, I was getting very ill, I wasn't able to go anywhere with out threat of violence. What do you do if this was happening to you and now was coming right to your church, what a question.. I called police while videoing sermon sneaking into the back. What do you do with a Cancer you cut it out, enter the two 'Signs of  Horror', last day of RNC, a computer looking for just such inflammatory post with Trump on it. They came back days after this story aired on new stations a few times, pounding?.
It has been two weekends and almost two weeks since anyone came to my home, church. I can after 13 months since this started in Springfield, and it finally begins to end. How?
Acts of Compassion
I got wrong directions walking way to long in the sun, but I had two goals to make. I had won tickets to the Frank Zappa Concert from the Weekly, I really never win prizes for me, and I had to meet my Sister I am a OMMP patient to get my much needed medicine a had to situation. I got the tickets, but by then I was suffering heat exhaustion bad, falling from a bulging disc in my neck and having seizure like activity far from home. I had cash but no taxi would stop.  Two people picked me up and took me home, and they told me with very strong words of love to "Never do that again! You call us." ( I am about to John & Lori) I gave them the tickets. Stringer Lumber yard, Gene, Mike these are Saints, and have done more then be a good neighbor to me they have been my friends, the Portland & Western Railroad, and Truckers. ("Trump supporters! THANK GOD!")  It doesn't matter America; I feel being a good American has nothing to do with your politicians social actions, if that were true we would all be in trouble of scrutiny of every word, action. It has to do with the day to day and being part of the solution to a better person, to build a better community and nation.  Sometimes people change by leaps and bounds, "I am sorry about the N stuff I was drunk!" was yelled at my house many months ago in the beginning when everyone got worse one man said that. Sacred me right out of bed and I said out loud, "Thank you! God bless you!" Others they show up and I walk outside and my lawn is cut this weekend, another accepted a gift from my hand, and a personal apology.
I came here to serve with this gift I have, this home, to feed and give warm, music, and laughter. I have stories great and stories horrible for sure the best stories which are true is how people change for the better often me being the subject describing what it took to come from addiction and homelessness to a degree at Lane then teaching myself to walk and run a marathon after a trauma, and 5K videos about "COOKING!" says Chef. I have not brought those things so I have some catching up to do if you will allow me.
I am at your mercy. Please accept my apology.
Chef John Ernst aka THOR


Dedicated the honorable man who asked me "Are you Okay?"
Thank God for 'GOP' Loyalty, Honor.