soul music 70's then to Christmas It is stormy today; the wind blows and the rain comes in heaves, and every time he pushes him closer to heaven the wind blows heralding the way, for the 4th Guardian. It was a thing to give a patch in ethernet, but that seemed to be Gods plan from, well I don't know Gods plan. I just follow miracles around until I get where I am going. It is Christmas time and I sing a lot, pushing away the scenes of dread for the higher truth. Frosty the snow man played while I was taking Beshima to a friends and I dressed him in the same clothes' he was in for his wedding. I always dress everybody and today Ivan was Frosty the snowman and I dropped him off in heavan. Nancy was waiting and just watched him dance up until he too the hat off and the snow melted into a sparkly mist and there he stood, magic top hat in hand in his wedding tuxedo. Nancy was the kind of surprised you don't see much, full of love, waiting for him. I gave him joy doing that, and it helped him deal daily with the fact of his reality. I was dropping off Beshima and there was the object I couldn't figure the way to run for in a quick right I was sliding the corner and rolling into a parking lot full of Christmas trees. I got out and just grabbed one. Ivan is ecstatic now that we have a tree and couldn't wait to smell it. I lifted it and gave him a deep pull of the fresh needles into my lungs. I got an "Ahhh, fresh Christmas tree.." in return.
I went home and got it inside with no breaks. It was sappy and on my hands and this time it was kind of cool. My steering wheel will be sticky for a bit. Ivan was saying, Flash back' over and over or idiot was breaking in. I stopped and wrote it down. I started thinking about all the time we spent together building this with chaos all around at times. We always got it done. "Cut that and then, but I often would be a few thoughts behind him. The shower for Beshima was a fiasco and, well he said one of those last things Marvin makes him say as he pushes him deeper, like well you, death. He yelled, "I love Beshima! Yeah, I know. I'm a married man and chuckled." Every time he is pushed there he yelled something new and awesome. I learn so much from him. We are a kind of steadfast friend now sharing a 5 years span that it really tells you about how that love can turn an enemy into a friend, or even more a brother. We just hung out sometimes, like watching Lethal Weapon, Step brothers or morning cartoons. We spent a lot of time together. He forgets a lot of stuff overnight while I sleep. Marvin works on him all night, the horror always real to me. I did cry a few days ago and cleared myself of the love of souls and my only mourning; I took while still in the battle field. I have to let him go and I do, but it is never like that. I just flood him with images from his life which I knew from years ago, or I shared my life again in a huge flash of love with pictures of mine in my head or even better full memories. . He would spark right up. "I remember." I would do that in the dark times for him. I mean how dark can it get when your wife was just killed the same way your are being killed, the horror of the threat alive everyday for 28 days, more. Soul watching is not for the weak of spirit. Have people and God there is my suggestion. He gets really happy over the little things. He realized I ate my whole bowl of Cherry Garcia ice cream for him last night and spouted it out in the truck while driving. Driving, I can still take him on bike rides in my mind, went Easy Rider in the time it took to write this sentence. We always roll in full colors with the girls with us. We are all patched now, Guardians. The tree is here. Ivan like a kids has called it Beshima's tree all the way here. I'm kind of excited to it is my first Christmas tree in my home, our home. I bought it for her because she is leaving back to Persia and I want her to remember a good ol American Christmas. I got Green day playing, "I hope in the end you feel is it is just right, I hope you had the time of your life." The caged bird began to sing, he finally sang! Jingle bell Rock
