"If i could think"

f i could think,
if i could think during the twitches
if I could dream a little, find a place
If I could rest my eyes
if I could reach out
If could think of what i really want to say
if could think,
I would thing of things iv'e seen,
places, Virginia on motorcycles
in a flock of Monarch butterflies as we stopped,
the things I felt, the joy relived in sorrow and joy
If I could thing I wouldn't see pictures
I would make them. If I could walk I would go, just to go,
if could love i would love so deep
if i realize i am doing all those things every moment, 
if.... 
it is hat has made me, something a kin to a deep spiritual, mental shall we say test, for it  "doth test me so..." invirture' fidlis (Shit I can't spell that stugg ff, i'm a dyslecxic writer, adnIm leaving that just they awy it it, is.) thank god spel chck. o yeah  Latin those who know...  
THOR (funny thing is I read different languages, speak them a loud, like French, Spanish, or Italian, and can kind of get what is being said.. At Ophelia's she speaks little English but her computer was in Spanish, and I started reading as I had done before. She looked at me said, "O Now! You read Spanish no problem..", then into Spanish I'm like go back..., "What? I busy reading how to fix this I can not understand what you are saying I can only read." She looked at me funny and I just shrugged, and went back to reading. 
I am not a teck but was able to show her many things, was interesting, she is nice lady. 

“Mother’s Day Pow-Wow McArthur Court U of O 2007' "THOR presents himself to the Tribes”

     I left my home and began my, “Spirit journey” my destination the Mother’s Day Pow-Wow. I walked downtown to retrieve my friend Steve than began walking towards the University of Oregon. I had this constant pull towards the east as I traveled south to north along Hilyard street; it seems my instincts were dead on  for when we entered the campus at thirteenth street we were directed back to the southeast were the Pow-Wow was taking place. As we had walked across town I had stated to Steve that this may be the last, “Spirit Journey” I would take for a while all I could feel was evil and chaos, but as the sound of drums enveloped me when we entered the stadium everything changed. A men’s traditional dance was just about to begin. I walked to the center of the stadium, and stood for a moment as if announcing to the gathered tribes, “Thor is here”. I backed into position with the other dancers, and slipped across the veil between this world and that of the spirit world. I became the Eagle, the deep booming of the drums beat into my body, and I began A sacred dance that I had never been taught, yet suddenly knew as a master musician knows his instrument, and the song he has performed scores of times. My body was caught in perfect tempo with the music and my spirit soared in unison with the crescendo of the drumming. As I danced dollars were thrown at my feet, one of the highest honors afforded to dancers I was to find later. The dance ended and a dollar still lay on the floor I retrieved it and walked off the floor. For a moment I was confused with what to do with this honor; however, when I saw a young white boy in regalia, all became clear. I was not dancing for myself, but for the future of the children. Another men’s traditional began and again I took my position with the dancers. This beat was different than the first it seemed to have a central meaning focusing inwards to the tribal nations and a tribute to their heritage as opposed to the last which was a more out ward and full encompassing. I again flew and soared as the Eagle though this time I danced in a rhythm that was not my own singularly, but belonged to the others as well. I remember looking for the one person, a chief or elder who this dance was focused on, yet there was no one evident not until later did I fully comprehend the tribute. Again a dollar was thrown at my feet with a loud, “Whoop” by a young native dancer (I wanted to write, “Brave” yet for my audience I’ll leave it as such {His Name is John we met and became friends a few years later at Lane Community College}). This dollar I circled and swept in the fashion of a bird in flight retrieving it upon my wing tip. Again I gave it to a child though this time to a young native boy. When he took it at first he shy away. I held his hand, and had him look into my eyes so he would understand the significance of why I gave it to him. I danced for the children’s future.

         Many other dances occurred: intertribal mixed, a Hawaiian native ladies dance, and an Aztec styled dance in tribute to mothers and Mother Earth. The rhythms to this dance were complex with a special core drummer and rehearsed dancers who were amazing to watch. For a while I closed my eyes; with them shut I could still see the dancers in a vision where they danced seemingly at a great distance to me in some great dessert around a fire. In my vision they danced all night and again into the morning. I watched the sun rise over the mountains and felt the cool night wash away before the heat of the day began. The dance ended in a deafening crescendo which was followed by silence. One lone feather remained in the center of the floor after the drum splinters and tributes had been cleared away. I made my way from the bleaches where I was again to the center of the floor to retrieve this lone feather. My heart raced and pounded in my chest as I picked up off the floor. I touched it to my lips, forehead, and chest; repeating the mantra, “Body, mind, and soul; bless me Great Spirit”

Thor

"IF I RAN THE ZOO" BY CHEF JOHN AKA THOR Lane Community College Oregon

If I ran the zoo this is what I would do.

I would create a direct out reach of all students and careers in the field they are pursuing creating assured growth of college, students, and community.

If I ran the zoo I would create the now down town CML building where all  this would take place.

If I ran the zoo every student would be in a long term plan putting them into a local job trade, career, or furthering  their studies in coordination with local opportunities, businesses, and International or  national movement into like career opportunities.

If I ran the zoo, I would use the CML building for this, personal, tech, administrative coordination with college Main campus, and local, national , and international coordination. I would also coordinate, the small Biz Center, SCORE, and Chamber of Commerce of both Eugene and Springfield in this endeavor deriving from them great leads and resources, some not imagined to come forth until the students are let loose on this idea.    

If I ran the zoo each student would create a Lane Community College LinkedIn account in their first year.

If I ran the zoo each dept, tech, culinary, nursing,  athletics, science, arts, welding ...so  would have their own separate accounts  within LinkedIn. Discussions following.   

If I ran the zoo each of these ideas would be weighed as the most powerful, the sword, the pen, or now the camera lending its debut.

If I ran the zoo I would create a reason for everyone to gather.

If I ran the zoo I would open a restaurant run by the students in the down town CML building.

If I ran the zoo I would sell .....(demographics done already) up to 200 per peek hours 5 days a week for lunch turning the lunch capabilities into the financial profit arena, and then on top of it I would run a classy nice establishment at night for a few hours giving the skill of working in a fast production and sales arena, then transferring to a more creative look at the best Oregon has to offer, as done daily in the Renaissance Room by students and staff. I find this very important since two dinners have been eliminated, and will boost the overall quality the Culinary program and move it right into the exploding Culinary Empire that Eugene is growing.

If I ran the ZOO I would have massive school spirit, like Yaaaaaaaaaaaah man! TITAN POWER!

If I ran the zoo one more thing,  I would call It (The Thunder Cafe') {poor man copy write} tm.

If I ran the zoo every staff member from Honorable President  Mary Spilde, too my esteemed friend Vice President Brian Kelly to all the other staff members who are so endeared to me who are so many, just so many, and every student would get a copy of this.

I had a lot of time when I first was hurt, and couldn't walk, not being able to work, so I set about being in my field in several manners and one of these was getting into LinkedIn conversations with Chefs from all over the world some being over 100 comments long. This lasted for some time, and believe me my knowledge of 25 years in Culinary was put in test and recognized by many Chefs as very well done. The best comment came after this statement concerning internal marketing needs and a change of venue for a large commercial organization looking to feed 3,000 meals a day. I gave a 5 part plan this was apart. Okay I'm telling you all this for a reason, and this was my reply.

"We had a breakfast omelet cart in the cafeteria, and I thought it would be cool if we created a marketing plan. I presented the idea, and  all the students got involved, ideas flying around like sheets of paper in the wind which many were. We drove sales in that cart from 35$ a day to 200$+ We sold everything we could make and used 'everything" we could, soups, salads, desserts, made cards for discounts, went to every inside dept and invited them in personally." "We as a team let loose rocked."

The best reply was this, listen to the second part.

 Chef Bu............ Executive Chef "Don't you guys see what he did, it was genius. He got the students/staff to work as a team investing their own ideas and then their own pride to achieve the goal."

Chef John Arthur Ernst aka THOR Graduate 2011

The best that is in me is because of being a "TITAN" at Lane Community College

 

Sound and the Swifts in Eugene Oregon

In each of us is the power of sound, it crosses veils, and can create. It is more than we can see, but to feel it is to know. I am a singer and we were walking under the swifts at the Chimney on Agate street Eugene OR with a buddy. He had his banjo and I had been doing some free-style singing (Give me a rip and I roll) and I stopped and said watch as I pointed to the sky. I began using my powerful voice to hit different tones. I first had to match the chirping of the birds flying about by the hundreds then I had to lead them in tone then I did an  abrupt turn in octave to a lower tone and all the swifts began moving slower as if someone hit a slow motion button. I then began singing in tones, and letting my voice fly with the swifts they looped and rolled. By this time I had and audience because there is a small park there. I finished playing with them and turned to my friend "Red" and said, "See." He nodded reverent silence, but for the swifts chirping still and kids playing. THOR

Mayor Kitty Piercy homeless FB conversation post March 17 2014

Interesting. I say interesting because I have to look at it from all angles, one the past life on the streets long enough to endure cold winters, warm summers, drug addition, in and out of jail, rebuilding again to loose it another time. Homelessness and the possibility of it all to real. So first brothers and sister on the street now even though your numbers have grown and many of you need extra help and I was a "King' of the 'hood' Whiteaker Neighborhood by the end of my time with lots of kids calling me 'Uncle Thor' You can become 'King" in a good way even though I was under ground basically you just instill a better way in the street code and help some kids head in the right direction by being first to go. Also You got a set of boyz that clank. OUT Okay the next step. I had been kicked out, just got of jail losing all my stuff (case dropped incidents related I can't ruin my book pivotal point) So I' walking down Willamette and take a left turn in to Lane Community College. I start classes 10 days later. Okay that is how I got out. I'm now h/c so I take that part of the plight of homelessness in. I also have to add in their general ability levels, social ability, education ability, needs, medical, general over all something kicked their but and put them on a bad path. I hope I covered every angle there. The next step is communication which has taken place over some time, planning after study of other models, action what we see above. Even greater ideas have come across the table but since we are talking about a city response to it we have a pretty powerful one. okay I have come this far, so I'm going to lay it all on the table. Each person has an ability, each person who has disabling medical needs will soon be in housing living off SSD (Lawyers will realize what I am telling you.$$$$) Each one of these people in some way is a financial bonus if we help. If we realize the labor financial pool available, if we realize the human potential available, if we have as said above an "End Game" strategy using what we have created as a community to cycle people back into housing faster than they are loosing them. Then all this will mean something great. Yes I agree we can call this still year one. I like to think 5 years from now when this system is so well tuned that the only few living Characters like "Crazy Charlie" my favorite street nut often to be found around the hood, and as always travels during the summer chasing the shows and sun. I'm saying we are just beginning to walk. It is right we should look around and see the new possibilities. Chef John "The Ghetto Gourmet" aka THOR  .

Eugene Marathon 2014 Chef John aka THOR "THE POWER OF THE RUN"

I have been thinking of running a full marathon, the trick is I'm H?C. I say it like that because even though I am handicapped I must have the strangest handicap ever. Every morning for over 3 years since I taught myself to walk in a parking lot while bouncing a ball and chasing it for weeks until I could walk around the block then finally after a month I ran, and now I have to jog. If I don't jog/run my body begins to break down. The blessing is I'm a good runner even though I'm H?C. In my 2nd year of my rehabilitation fighting my h/c I ran a 1/2 marathon, the butte to butte, and won the 100 meter and 200 meter in the Hayward field  in 2012. I got the hankering to do some real running. I told Dad why when he asked me knowing I have gotten worse and a full marathon is no joke all things considered and I had trained 13 weeks for 13.2 miles. I said, "Dad, You only live once." I am already in training of sorts. I circle my building over and over, until I feel safe enough to hit the roads. I fall and have seizure like activity some days and I have to deal with Police and Ambulances if I run far from home. I wish someone would run with me. I still think if I can run for three hours even though no hills around I should be able to finish a marathon.

Chef John the Ghetto Gourmet aka Thor

 

Letter to Lawyer after seeing Dr. Batia Springfield Oregon

I first want to thank you for your assistance in my time of need. I would not have been able to move without your help including with medical needs.

I have said I have gone to a lot of doctors, and have a good memory.

It is very hard to find something if you do not look for it, and attempting to hypothesize a concept that addiction to "meth" for a time many years ago has changed the chemicals in my brain was just an easy out for Dr. Batia.

I guess I was set up, again by not knowing where I was going to be tested for what. I shall explain because this is a feeling, a result. An example when I was sent to Dr, Jenson to be tested for Epileptic Seizure. I knew that was not the case. Why? Because I have been studying my symptoms and relaying them to Friends on the East Coast (DR + Nurses) to come to the simple conclusion that I was not having brain activated Seizures. I had tested this hypothesis and had come to this conclusion way before I was tested, but I had no idea what the test was. 

"Movement Specialist"

I was told. I movement specialist you think would check movement to make her assessment. Okay you say I was there she did. Yes.

She did the same test Dr. Bigley did, Dr. Jenson, Dr. Workman.

Lets just take the hips. Okay Orthopedic, none neurology  

Dr. Batia had me lay on my back lift my leg a few inches and pushed it down. I was not able to stop her light pressure and my leg fell quickly. This was the only movement checked in my hips, legs, feet, ankle rotation so forth.

Dr. Macha at Slocum center Orthopedics

I saw him several times. The last time was for hip impact. He lifted my legs, and tested strength from bottom while I was on my back, he turned my legs one by one checking the strength in my rotation, then both at once. He had me lay on my side, and check lift in that position, he then had me sit up and repeat. He then checked me in a standing position. His conclusion was that I was dealing with dramatic loss of movement and strength in hip region.

He and his whole team did everything for free.

 

I have been diagnosed with Degenerative Disc Disorder between c5-c7.

I have been diagnosed with Temporal Mandibular Jaw Disorder which Dr. Allison Caderet DDS took her own time to do research.

 

So I say really. Meth is the first thing that pops out of Dr. Batia's mouth as a supposition having no facts to support her hypothesis. I on the other hand have studied the effects of Meth with the newest info possible during the 6 month boot camp program adding in cognitive therapy. The drug court program, the CAFA program and to top it off I took Alcohol and Drug addiction as a class by a registered Counselor at Lane Community College (A in class) and continued study of this subject on my own with several books.

I see again I am at square one as my body continues to break. We have wasted a fair amount of my father's money to get here.

I will do this on my own like I have from the moment I got off the couch 6 weeks after my injury and began teaching myself to walk three years ago. 

I have fought stigmas my whole life. I find it sad that this continues in any form. 

Chef John Ernst   

 ps. I told Dr. Batia a "Movement Specialist" I could dead lift 200 lbs after working up to it for some time. She later returned and said, "Anyone who can "Bench Press" 200 lbs is fine." I replied, "I said I could dead lift, not bench press. I can barely lay on my back, and I do push ups." "How the can you be a movement specialist and not know the difference between a BENCH PRESS and a DEAD LIFT?"

 

"13 feet from the Pope & Washington D.C. White House Mob"

 

His Holy Father Pope Francis,                                      03/13/2014

I have been thinking of writing for a while, but first I had to know what I wanted to say. I was adopted out by Catholic Charities, my father Jerome Ernst worked for Catholic Charities, I spent my whole youthful life in the Catholic Church. We would be invited to the White House and Dad got me and my sister ready. I was 11 and she was 5. We took the car back then and then parked. The White House was amass with people near a quarter of the population of America was Catholic in 1979, and people had come from all around the D.C. area to get a glance at or hear the word of the Holy Father as he conducted mass on the Capital Mall. Dad had picked a place in line where he said the Pope was supposed to walk as he greeted people on the White House lawn. He always seemed to have the low down on what was going to happened and how to act.  Dad said, "He will come right by here." as we looked across the narrow ally made in the grass by simple ropes and posts  about 15 feet across with all the people straining at its edges and bulging noticeably here and there along the path all looking for that better view. After a long time of listening in the hot sun and the lush grass; (It really is a nice lawn.) Pope john Paul the 2nd made his way down the walk way. Then as one all the people began ducking under the ropes the path was quickly blocked. Dad still hung on to my little sister and said go ahead for as a child I knew that getting through a crowd of any size was possible, well almost any size, and had begun to ask when I saw all the others begin to go under the ropes. I swung under and made quickly towards a mass of growing people. I scrunched and squeezed my way along legs and under arms until I could go no further without really getting brawly, and pushy. The mass of people continued to move like some great magnet pulled them like iron shavings, the Pope as he continued to walk slower now but still forward. I could see the mini ring around him coming closer until it stopped a dozen feet away. In the center was the Pope. I was small and he was short so I kept just seeing the top of his head bob up and down as he greeted and lay blessings on people. Then for just a moment as others moved out and others rushed in like a sea, in that moment when they parted I saw him for a split second. A man standing in white, the Pope, Holy father, he was a man but his clothes were like royalty and his hands were gently clasped together in moment, his eyes closed for a split moment, the light gleamed of him and everybody was wanting to see him, and what I saw was him praying; for that brief second as he closed his eyes, he prayed. I made my way back to Dad and my sister after a while. I said yes Dad I saw him, but didn't get close enough to shake his hand.

I am a man now. Chef John Arthur Barnabus  Ernst

Eugene/Springfield Oregon USA

I am glad to see a man of the people. "For of my gifts Charity is the greatest", charity of the heart, charity of the hand, charity of the spirit in joyful union.      

THOR