We are so often defined by limitations that are set in front of us not by limitations we have set or surpassed. I just started a journey again. It opened the door to a lot of memories about the severity of my disability that I had pushed down from 10 years ago. The worst was the way I felt when I knew people were looking at me when I was in public fighting to regain a life that I would never see again. Life is like that; it moves on. I couldn't tell them my struggle and what stage I was in and I often didn't know for the first year or even more as my injury became a life long disability. I am revisiting that place but with an intent this time to again to heal. I went from a terrible state of seizures and loss of controls like walking well it is a spine issue. I went and learned to walk a long way then run, then run a long way until 4 years later I did a marathon. The point being in what I said at the beginning. I never ran more than 7-8 miles in my life, and I was the unreal fast without training for speed. 12 sec 100 meter in 20's. It took the disability that I still live with everyday, the one that I beat down after years and was the man who ran a 1/2 and then a full marathon 2013-14. I ran a 12.78 100 meter in 2013, 13.00 in 2014. I far surpassed anything in running I had done before in my life. I don't let people set my limitations anymore, That never ends well in heart of action and method of creation. My disability, well it does what it wants sometimes and that is my life. You see I can always decide to start running again. My only limitation is my disability, how far I want to go, and most of all how hard I fight. If I had a wish it might be that people might not so much see the falls as they do the fights. I started running again. Every day I run. I fall like I used to, I look like maybe I shouldn't be alone so stricken my stature in my battle as I fight the hill on my run, yet I get up, and I keep going. I come back the next day and do it all over again. Maybe I don't fall, but my disability is there with me often for all to see as I run, drag and push, interpose my inner struggle on the outside world by feats of personal relentlessness that I too recall from that time of running. I pick up an acorn top by the Oak as I run. I put them in a jar at home one by one. An acorn top can make the loudest whistle in the world, if you know how and have the patience to practice until you get it right. Be the little acorn cap, a bit of natures surprise and a testament to the will of humanity.
Ps. I don't know where that came from but it did.
THOR
